Being Extraordinary is a journey of positive intention which naturally has ups and downs rather than a constant state of Nirvana. It helps to have great support along the way from people who know what matters to you and can remind you of this when it gets lost.
This is the first in a series of online coaching support for people who are exploring new ways of Being Extraordinary. You might just be starting out on the journey and would like some support in answering the questions in the book, or maybe going through a change in your life which is making it harder than ever to Be Extraordinary.
If you’d like to take part please contact us at the bottom of this page, sharing something about yourself and what you would like support in.
Our first series of conversations is between Anni Townend and Lucy Kidd.
Anni Townend is a leadership consultant, coach, facilitator and author. She works with leaders in organisations helping them to lead organisational change through people. She helps people get clear on what they are leading for, to build bigger relationships and to develop and deliver with and through others. Anni believes in the power of people to change and to create relationships in which they can be open, honest and trusting of each other – relationships in which people are affirmed, valued and respected for who they are and for what they do.
Lucy Kidd is an Executive Coach and Leadership Consultant who has recently moved with her family to Dubai. Although she didn’t know it at the time, she has been consciously practicing Being Extraordinary for the past 13 years since choosing to tackle some old childhood issues that were getting in the way of how she wanted to be. This taught her a lot about how to choose her way of being rather than surrender to experience and set her on the way to specialising in limiting beliefs in her work.
Here she reaches out to her friend and colleague Anni to help her to stay Extraordinary in a new and challenging situation.
10th March 2013
I’d really like your help to find new ways to Be Extraordinary as I embark on creating a new life in Dubai.
Although it’s something I have wanted for a long time, I’m finding it surprisingly difficult to set up home in a new country.
We arrived three weeks ago and I keep waiting to feel that reassuring sense of satisfaction you get when you know you have absolutely done the right thing. Instead I have a constant nagging feeling that something is missing.
I know all the logical reasons as to why this is a great idea for our family, but I’d really like my emotions to catch up.
As you know, Dubai is already a home from home for us as both my husband and I grew up here and we have had family out here for years. We even met out here so I really expected more of a sense of coming home. The trouble is that in the intervening 10 years we have set up a lovely home in England and made some fabulous friends along the way who were hard to leave behind.
Although I know that we will have a great lifestyle here with our two boys getting a better education, having more quality family time together and me not having to work (not to mention the sunshine), I’m struggling to truly embrace the change.
As a coach, I’m lucky to have the toolkit to ‘switch myself on’ and get more positive, but I would really like it to come naturally! This is an extraordinary move for our family with the promise of big opportunities for us all so why am I finding it so hard to bring my own extraordinary qualities to the party?!
Great to hear from you and your creating your new life in Dubai, a life which I know you have looked forward to for a long time as a family, and a place which as you say is a home from home – and yet isn’t feeling quite like home – yet.
I can imagine that it is really different being in Dubai now, to how it was ten years ago when you were there – not least because in the intervening time you have become a family with your husband and have two lovely sons.
I can really understand that whilst it is an extraordinary move for you all that it is also hard to bring all your extraordinary qualities to the party and that you really want to!
Your wanting to is a great place to get in touch with your being extraordinary. You have to want to bring your extraordinary qualities to be able to do so…. and sometimes it really helps – usually I have found – to take time each day to acknowledge just how extraordinary you are, and all that you have already done in just making the move.
And to consciously think about these things – and to talk about them – simply to stop and think, and to talk with your husband and your boys about just how extraordinary it is that you are all together in Dubai. And that you have made the move, and are together doing all kinds of new and different things and that sometimes it is difficult. This in and of itself is extraordinary! And can sometimes get lost in the busyness of doing all the things that I can imagine you are doing, that are new and exciting…. and perhaps sometimes a bit odd, because they are so different.
It’s Mother’s Day over here in the UK this weekend, and I think as a MUM you have done an extraordinary job of packing up the house, travelling over to Dubai with the boys, and holding the space and settling you all in and supporting your husband in all of you Being Extraordinary every day.
Hope this helps
18th March 2013
Its amazing what a difference a week can make! Reaching out to you, my friends and family seemed to take the pressure off. By letting people know that I was having a harder time than expected adjusting to our new life, people made a special effort to make me feel welcome or to reassure me that I had done the right thing. It was a fantastic reminder to ask for help when I need it rather than struggle along in silence.
I think I had focused so much of my attention on making sure that my husband and the children were settling in well that I forgot to give myself time and space to do the same. Through talking about this and taking time to stop and think about this as you suggested, it has helped me to focus on small ways of Being Extraordinary every day. Like exploring new parks with the boys after school, making the effort to meet new people at the school gates, taking time to exercise and look after myself, and really thinking about what we want from our home as we look for a place to live. And being kind and patient with myself, to trust that I will feel settled here and will make some great new friends. To know that it will come in time.
I’m being reminded that Being Extraordinary isn’t about getting it right first time. Its more about noticing how you are being. Being aware of your feelings and emotions and how they change in relation to what is happening around you. Being willing to sit with these and explore them. Being open to new ways of doing things. Being accepting of how things are. Being grateful for what you have and what is still to come.
These little ways of Being Extraordinary mean that I am feeling a lot happier about being here in Dubai and am starting to be able to visualise what our life will be like here which is quite exciting!
Thank you for your support and encouragement along the way.
I am so glad that reaching out helped you and that asking for help and getting the reassurance from people that you have made the right decision has helped. Indeed I think that this is a great formula – reaching out to others/sharing with them how you are + asking for help = reassurance.
I am often surprised not only at home but also at work how this formula can have someone go from feeling anxious to feeling relaxed, from not feeling able to do something to feeling enabled. And I think the thing that you have given yourself, the gift of patience and kindness to yourself is so important, to go slowly and thirdly to trust in yourself, others and the environment and that these three things will help you every day.
Indeed it occurs to me that your ‘mantra’ for now might be based on this, and that you could check in with yourself each day around ‘who you are being’, remembering that you are ‘being extraordinary’ and that ‘Patience, Kindness and Trust’ will guide you.
Best wishes to you, and your family